Spiraling

A few months ago my church welcomed a gentleman named Sy Rogers. I was privileged to take part in a leadership session he taught, and something he shared had “encouragement potential.” I find I keep thinking about it. If I’m not careful, I might let it give me hope …

I’ll try my best to do this idea justice.

We (people in pain) tend to think of life as a straight line from A to B. An event happens on the timeline, we move past it and it’s gone.

But life is more like a spiral. You march along the spiral and an Event happens and it’s horrible. You get past it, and you assume you’re done with it. But lo and behold, ten years later The Event rears its ugly head. Suddenly you’re dealing with the pain of some horrible 10-year-old Event like it happened yesterday. What the heck!

Sy explained it this way: When The Event happened, you weren’t ready to properly deal with it. Your life, your experiences, your understanding, your relationship with God hadn’t yet equipped you to deal with The Event. It had to go away, and it had to come back now–ten years later–because it’s in this stage of your life that you’re equipped to rightly deal with The Event.

Today. With accumulated experience and understanding, and with a time-tested relationship with God that you didn’t have when you were 5, or 15, or 25 or whatever. It has to be now. Because now you’re ready.

So … maybe now, in my late 30s, I’m finally ready. I mean, this sucks. But maybe God saved this for now because, even though it feels like it’s too heavy and it’s too much for me today, I definitely didn’t have the chops for it back whenever. If it’s this hard now … it would’ve crushed me then.

Yes, despite how it feels, I’m thinking maybe now I’m ready.

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6 thoughts on “Spiraling

  1. Makeda says:

    Love this post and I love you. I TOTALLY think you are ready. You are way stronger and braver than you think my friend. Hugs to you today (and always)

  2. Dawn says:

    Oh Tracie, your honesty has just blown me away as I read your blog posts this year. I wish I had some beautiful, magical words that would just cure it all, make it all better. I know you are finding your way. As Makeda says, You are a strong, brave, fighter and I know you are ready to walk through this. I’ll share with you what God said to me once when I was faced with a place I didn’t want to go…as I cried out to Him and said, I don’t think I’m ready for this. I don’t know if I’m ready for this. He answered quietly, don’t you think if I brought you to this place that *I* think you are ready for this, that I *know* you are ready for this? That changed my perspective in an instant. The fear didn’t magically disappear and the pain was still difficult but when I was in the trenches, I could think back to those quiet words, I *know* you are ready for this. And I could go on one more day. Love you my friend!

  3. Rachel T says:

    Tracie, hearing that from Sy was very powerful for me too. It caused me to stop looking at the circumstances of last summer and everything they dredged up in me as something that would completely crush me. Prior to hearing Sy speak, I was convinced that God was beating me up, taking me through something that was unnecessarily painful and I just kept crying out that it was too much, that I couldn’t handle it, and I didn’t know why He was doing it to me. That morning He said, “See? You’re just ready.” I can’t say that I haven’t asked ‘why’ since then… Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

  4. Tracie says:

    Keda, you’re a much better friend to me than I deserve. Thank you for your unconditional and encouraging love.

  5. Tracie says:

    Thanks Dawn. I know just what you mean about those quiet words from God. They wind up being so perfect for the moment. Thanks for sharing that with me friend!

  6. Tracie says:

    Hi Rachel! Yeah, Sy really said a lot of things that blew me away that day, but that one is the one that keeps coming back to me. I don’t guess it makes the pain any less, but I think it’s just enough to push us through.

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