(How do I say this without sounding crazy. I don’t think that’s possible. I’m okay with that.)
I have this friend named Angry Tracie. She first showed up when I was 16 and pregnant; until recently, I didn’t realize how much a part of my life she’d become.
Angry Tracie has been my trusted companion when I’m hurting, and I’ve especially enjoyed rehashing old hurts with her. She seemed to be the only person who listened to me and cared about my feelings. Her presence comforted me. Angry Tracie became my closest friend.
I got saved 13 years ago. But I’ve still trusted her more than anyone. Through lots of personal struggles, when I felt like God wasn’t listening, didn’t like me and wasn’t concerned about my broken heart, Angry Tracie was there to console me. (That confession might be offensive to some Christians. Or you might agree with my conviction that Jesus leaves each of us plenty of room–He’d call it grace–for discovering and working through our humanity. Room, plus the Holy Spirit.)
I didn’t recognize Angry Tracie’s influence, more than 20 years of it. But I do now. Knowing about her is changing the way I think and behave and live. Jesus is gently working us through it. Man. I love Him for that.
Do you have a “friend” who might be keeping you from really living, and really loving?