Angels and Demons: EMT 9

I’ve hesitated to write this blog, because it contains elements that are both supernatural and divisive in church circles. I’m a serious skeptic myself, and my first instinct whenever I hear a story like the one I’m about to share is to doubt it. So I won’t blame you if you have trouble believing this. All I can say is, it really did happen. Do with it what you will.

Late Summer 2005

A few months earlier God asked me to stay committed to my marriage, and I grudgingly agreed to do so. Since then I’d become more willing for God to save our marriage. Then I learned my husband was up to no good again.

Oddly enough, I seriously considered overlooking it. My kids and I had been struggling, and if Derwin and I stayed together, we wouldn’t have to scrape by anymore. So maybe I just needed to ignore his behavior for the sake of having food in the house. And a house, period.

On this day my friend Kayla* was giving me a ride home. Kayla can discern spirits–something that was (and still is) off-putting to me. I was never sure whether I believed such a thing was possible. Anyhow, she said there was something in my room last time she was there. Something not nice. So, skeptical or not, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to pray! I asked her to join me, but she hesitated. (She could discern spirits, but she didn’t like it. It scared her.) I persisted (”Lookit, if you see it, you need to come pray with me ’til you don’t see it!”).

So we went into my room. I kneeled on my bed, facing the head, while she kneeled on the floor, and we began to pray. I didn’t figure it would get much more exciting than that. But as I prayed, I saw two images side by side. On the left was my life if I left things as they were and stayed with Derwin. He kept doing hurtful things. We were arguing and fighting constantly. We were struggling financially. We were miserable. Our children were miserable.

On the right was a tunnel, utterly dark. I couldn’t see a thing–yet I knew God was asking me to walk into that tunnel.

Now, I figured it was better to face a future I knew (even if it would be horrible) than something so uncertain as whatever awaited me in the dark. I was already going through what seemed like hell; what if whatever was in the tunnel was worse? Besides, God had asked me to stay in my marriage; why would He now say otherwise? And wasn’t God a God of light? Why would He ask me to walk into the dark? Perhaps it wasn’t God!

I was still there on my bed, talking myself out of obeying God, when suddenly I felt like singing. This is the song (see the video):

You are the Life to my
Heart and my soul
You are the Light to
The darkness around me
You are the Hope to
The hopeless and broken
You are the only
Truth and the way

As these words came out of my mouth, I understood God was directly answering my fears: Jesus intended to be my Light in that dark tunnel. He intended to be my Hope–especially since I was quite hopeless and broken. And He was the only truth and the way. So if belonging to Him meant walking into a dark future I couldn’t see or control, did I really have another option? He is the only way! Ultimately the question was whether I would trust Him.

When God so bluntly asks me to trust Him, I have a hard time saying no. Even if I’m terrified, which I was. I mean, how could I say no to that? So, I chose the dark tunnel.

Now there I was, all tear-streaked and snotty, having practically forgotten Kayla was even in the house, when suddenly she says, “Tracie! Look!” She was pointing above my head at the ceiling. I looked, but of course I didn’t see anything.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s an angel!” Kayla says, amazed.

I looked again. Still nothing. I was somewhat skeptical.

“Don’t you see her? She’s beautiful.”

Now I just straight up didn’t believe her. I’ve never heard of a female angel, I thought.

The spirit of wisdom is female I heard. (Read it.)

Okay, so now I was slightly less skeptical.

Then suddenly I saw (but I didn’t see–I can’t explain it) her pour words into my head. It was as if she opened my head like a German beer stein and poured words in. The words were in a language I didn’t know, but I was supposed to say them. As I was speaking, I heard Turn around and tell her to speak.

So when I finished, I turned around and said to Kayla, “Speak.”

Silence. Then, “OMIGOSH, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!”

“He told me to tell you to speak!” I explained.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, I thought I was crazy!” Kayla said, amazed.

So Kayla interpreted what I’d just said. And what I’d said was that God loved me very much. (I know, I thought it would be much more “prophetic” and “spiritual” than that. But … I suppose it really was quite prophetic and spiritual if you think about it.)

So there it is. Believe it or not.

To be continued.

* Name changed to protect the innocent.